"That's the chance you have to take. You can wait it out and see what the courts say. And you may be right. They may just go to trial and you can cop a plea. But if they don't, or if that guy you whacked dies, you could wind up being in here until you're a shriveled up old man blowing dudes for Snicker's bars and cigarettes. Man, look at Danny. The bucks are in there every night nailing him. I'm not going to live forever. And you'll be in here all by your lonesome. Think about it. I'm going to fucking bed, got me a new stroke magazine in the mail today, gotta break it in." The giant inmate lumbered to his feet and headed towards his cell. The guard on duty announced on the intercom that it was five minutes to lock down and as I was walking to my cell, I glanced in at Danny. They had him stripped down as naked as the day he was born. One guy was hitting him from behind while another was slamming him in the mouth. He looked out of the corners of his glazed eyes at me. I turned around and walked over to Norm's cell. "I'm in. I'll do what ever the fuck I have to do to get out of here." "First thing you have to do is give me the address of your parents and any brothers and sisters."
It was morning and we were leaning over
trays of greenish scrambled eggs, hash browns, and
a gigantic, sweating sweet roll that was laying on
top of the whole mess. The sight of Norm shoving it
all into his gaping cake hole was about enough to
put me over the top.
"What the hell for?'
'That's just the way the system works,
dipshit. I get you out of here, you're going to have
to work for us. You decide to bolt and run away
from your obligations, the Brotherhood needs to
know where to find you. They can't find you, well
then mommy and daddy and little sis will have to
take the heat for you. And I can goddamn guarantee
you that if they know where you are, they'll talk."
He spread his python sized arms wide. "Take it or
leave it."
"My mom ran off years ago and now my old
man is on the lam, too. The only address I can give
you is for my brother down in Florida." This wasn't
going to be good but what the hell else could I do?
"Florida's no problem. Got plenty of
brothers in the sunshine state." Norm reached over
and grabbed my sweet roll.
"When does it happen?" I was going to have
to rush to my cell, the combination of the smell of
the breakfast and the thought of what Norm was
telling me was making me want to power puke.
"Couple of days. My boys on the outside
have to make sure you gave me the right addresses
of your folks. And by the way, if you try to fuck me
and give me some bogus information you will be in
a world of shit. I'll take you out right here."
I was on my hands and knees barfing into
my toilet when Norm stuck his head in. "I forgot to
tell you this. Get your armpits wet and soap 'em up
and let 'em dry without washing off the soap.
Tonight show the nurse the rash, tell her that you're
allergic to the roll-on deodorant. They'll switch you
to spray. But don't use it, just leave it in your cell.
You're gonna need it."
Straight up midnight and the unit was quiet
as a tomb. I looked out the cell door window of my
cell and could see just the tops of the heads of the
two night guards, both of whom Norm said were
major league stoners and never made more than two
rounds a night, usually one at the beginning and one
at the end of the shift. They were watching a movie
on the VCR, looked like Fast Times at Ridgemont
High. I turned back to my bed to check out my
supplies. Two cans of Right Guard, one mine, one
Norm's, a damp towel, and a book of matches.
I stuck a piece of cardboard that I had cut
from the back of a notepad to fit into my cell door
window so the guards wouldn't see the flame. I took
one of the cans of Right Guard, lit a match, and
sprayed it. It took off like a fucking flame thrower!
As soon as I directed the flame to the
security crash proof glass that was installed in my
outside window, I knew that it was going to work.
The glass seemed to start to melt almost
immediately. Halfway through a can I had an
opening about ten inches wide. Within five minutes
both cans were empty and I had a hole easily wide
enough for me to slide out. I cooled down the edges
of the hole with the damp towel and started to slide
my head out the hole.
"What in the double fuck is going on?"
In a panic I pulled my head back in. One of
the guards was standing inside my cell! He had
obviously been smoking weed. His eyes were like
two piss holes in the snow and he was holding a can
of beer. I couldn't believe that I didn't hear him
come in. He was standing there in the middle of the
cell with his jaw hanging down and this look of
stupid amazement of his face.
On nothing but shit in your pants fear and
pure animal instinct, I threw the hardest fucking
roundhouse right that I have ever thrown to this day.
The punch pole-axed him right between the eyes, I
could feel the bones snap in my fist, and the guard
dropped to the floor like he had been shot in the
head.