"That ought to start some fireworks in the morning for old Brooks." "Without a doubt." "You can drive Mommy's Vespa over to the barracks. Leave it at the Master of Arms office and I'll send someone over to get in the morning." We were standing in front of his apartment building. I had pulled his wife's scooter out of their covered parking space and was trying to get it started. The booze had kicked in again with the Chief and he was having a hard time standing up. The Vespa finally fired up - the damn thing sounded like a chainsaw as I revved it up. "Good luck, asshole. Been nice knowing you. Enjoy your time at sea," he mumbled as he headed up the sidewalk.
"Thanks, Chief." As I dropped the kickstand
and started to pull away I looked over my shoulder
and saw Mason leaning against the building and
taking a leak on the front door.
I pulled on to the street and headed for the
boathouse. There was a guy fresh out of boot camp on
duty at the boathouse that night. Arnold something
or another. Born again Christian and world class
loser. What the hell was the Navy coming to? The
front door was locked but that meant nothing since
the boathouse was merely half a Quonset hut bolted
over a long pier. The tide was going out so I walked
under the pier and hoisted myself up into the
boathouse. I could hear the rookie snoring in the
duty room. Chief's office door was unlocked. I
closed the door quietly behind me and turned the
lamp on that was on the desk. I unlocked the desk
and pulled out the top drawer. There sat the
combination to the safe. It was written on the
bottom of a business card to a local Korean bar
known for it's waitresses giving hum jobs to the
customers under the table and for it's excellent
barbecue chicken.
The card was taped down on to
the bottom of the drawer. 4-11-0. 4-11-0?
Goddamn! The poor alky couldn't keep that in his
head? I pulled back the floor rug and gave the dial a
couple of spins and entered the combo. I got it on
the first try. The leather briefcase filled almost half
of the safe. The other half had a bottle of Jack
Daniel's and a bottle of what appeared to be white
cross speeders. I pulled out the briefcase and
unzipped the sides of it. The assholes had done a
really nice job. Each future blackmail victim -
looked like damn near fifty people - had their name
typed out on a sheet of paper with the date of
his/her dalliance with Rose. There was one photo of
the act paper clipped to the side and on the other
side of the sheet were the negatives which were also
paper clipped in place. Then each package had been
neatly slipped into a clear plastic sleeve. Very
classy and well done considering that it was
accomplished by three total dipshits.
I looked at the clock on the wall. It was
almost five in the morning. My flight to Los
Angeles left in less than three hours. I locked the
desk, dropped the key into the safe and closed it up,
and slipped the case under my arm and turned the
lights out. When I opened the office door I could
still hear the watch-stander snoring.
I slipped out the front door, fired up the
scooter, and headed for the barracks.
I wouldn't know until several years later that
my first and only successful attempt at safecracking
would lead to an unbelievable chain of events. I
found this out after I had bumped into Mason's
wife, "Mommy," who was working a strip club in
Long Beach that I had waltzed into after a long day
of unloading bananas down on the docks. The
morning after my going away bash, Chief Mason, in
the midst of a crippling hangover, arrived two hours
late for work. Too his horror, he would discover the
key to his desk missing. It would take him several
minutes to bust his desk open with a mallet and a
crowbar. Witnesses reported hearing a shriek of
agony followed by a string of curses and the sound
of furniture being destroyed. Chief Mason would
step out of his door, sweat covering his beet red
face, and walk Frankenstein-like - arms stretched
out in front of him as if to strangle - towards the
previous evenings watch-stander, poor Arnold the
Jesus loving sailor. His last words were "What in
the fuck happened here last night you ignorant
fucking.." And then he dropped dead in his tracks.