Since he was hitting it off so well we all decided not to tell him that the chick he was hitting on was really a dude! They must have sat there for an hour or so while Billy kept buying the him-shim vodka and Cokes. We could hardly contain our giggles and grins when Billy announced that he was going to go out to the alley for a blowjob which he had paid fifty dollars for. But the funny part was just beginning. When Billy came back in he had a grin like he had been eating shit sandwiches. "So how was it, Billy? As good as you thought it was going to be? Billy gave this big mid-western grin. "Better than I imagined. When she started to blow me I got so turned on I told her I'd just had to have her pussy. But she said that she was on her period so I'd have to screw her in her rear and it would cost another fifty bucks but I didn't give a shit." "So you cornholed her?" asked one of my prankster shipmates. Young Billy chugged down his Schlitz and slammed the mug down on the bar. "Big time! I nailed her so hard she'll call her Mom to tell her all about it." "Was it like screwing a sheep back on the farm?" yelled out one wag. "Better." Billy responded. "Well you just fucked a guy in the ass!" We had all screamed out at once.
Billy had look on his
face like we had just told him that his dog had died,
but it was all in good fun.
Then the Captain's clerk started dancing
around chanting "Billy fucked a him-shim! Billy
fucked a him-shim," until Billy freaked out, ran out
of the bar, and jumped into a cab. We stayed in the
bar and partied until closing and then staggered
back to the ship. It wasn't until the next morning
that we had heard that Billy had gone total bugshit
when he got back to the ship and threatened to burn
the goddamn thing down to the waterline. He had to
be restrained and sedated by a corpsman and was
carried off on a stretcher.
I wonder what the hell that was all about?
We never saw Billy again. He was a good guy and I
always missed him after he was gone. Last I heard
was that he was locked up in some Navy hospital
ward somewhere.
"Holy shit, Chief! That's quite a story." This
bastard was psychotic. This asshole himself needed
to be locked up in a room with padded walls.
"Those were the days. Those were the days."
He tossed back another shot of Jack Daniel's and
sighed. "It's all gone to shit now. Especially with
Rose and Brewer gone."
What in the hell was he talking about?
"What's gone to shit?"
Mason slammed down the rest of his beer
chaser and signaled for an encore from the barkeep.
He exhaled wearily. "We had a good thing going.
We were gonna make a lotta cash when it was over.
Then those two stupid shits had to fuck it all up. All
for some drugs and then that goddamn pimp had to
get hooked up in everything. But then again Rose
was stupid enough to hold out on him so she
probably deserved what she got." Christ, I thought
the big redneck was going to start weeping.
"What are you talking about, Chief?"
He leaned over on to the bar on his forearms
and looked at me with a sneaky grin. "Guess I can
tell you now with you shipping out tomorrow.
Wouldn't hurt much I guess." He did an exaggerated
look around the empty bar. "Past couple of years me
and Brewer and Rose were taking snapshots of a
bunch of visiting dignitaries and high ranking
officers when they were fucking Rose."
What in the fuck? "How in the hell were you
pulling that off?"
"Rose would take them up to her place and
we had a little camera area set up in a crawl space
with a two way mirror in her bedroom. That fucking
Brewer is as skinny as a garden snake so he could
slide in and hide in there and burn up a roll of film.
Rose would turn on the stereo with some romantic
shit so they'd never hear the camera. Worked like a
fucking charm."
Holy shit! "How many guys did you do that
to?"
Mason tried to process that through all the
booze floating around in his booze soaked brain.
"Fuck, maybe thirty or forty guys and four or five
women. Rose didn't mind going down on a woman,
that's for damn sure." He tugged at the crotch of his
pants. "Holy shit! Was that hot to watch or what?"
I found myself wishing I had been there.
"What in the hell were you going to do with the
pictures?"
"Blackmail the sons of bitches.
We were going to wait until Brewer and I retired and Rose
got discharged. Couple more years and then we
were going to blackmail 'em all. I got all the
negatives in a big binder."