It was way after midnight. My first official day in the Navy. The bus that had met us at the airport (the sailor at the airport who met our group had been downright rude - calling us "fucksticks," "limpdicks," "needledicks, "pricks" and other greetings with penis-like meanings) had pulled on to the base and dropped us off at the some cement bunker filled with metal folding chairs. We sat silently facing a wood box with a big slit in the top. An officer strutted in, "All right you assholes, I've got the fucking duty tonight and I want to get some sack time. I've had a long fucking day and I'm not in the mood to fuck around with you pansy little pricks so let's get this goddamn shitting show on the road.
If any of you cocksuckers have in your possession
any liquor, drugs or narcotics that are not
prescribed, guns, knives, pictures of your
girlfriend's pussy, pictures of your mother's pussy,
pictures of your boyfriend's cock, fuck books, or in
other words anything you don't want us to find, you
now have the chance to discard these items. If you
have any of said items or anything else the Navy
decides you can't have you will march your sorry
fucking ass to the front of the room and drop it in
the hole in the top of the box. This is your one and
only motherfucking chance to come clean. If any
one of you bastards are caught with these items
after the next five minutes are over your ass will be
swinging in the breeze.
You will be sent to the brig
where Marines with huge dicks will bend you over
and fuck you in the ass. Is that understood?
Goddamn it! Is that understood?"
"Yes, sir!" We all screamed out.
About half the room scurried to the front to
drop some sort of contraband into the box. I didn't
have anything to worry about since I had been
robbed by the beautiful prostitute less than a day
earlier. The guy sitting next to me had pulled out
about a half a dozen Trojan brand rubbers (?), a half
pint of Jack Daniel's, a Playboy, and a Penthouse,
out of his gym bag. As he was dropping his swag
into the box the officer caught him nervously
looking at him.
"What are you eyeballing you fucking
geek?" He shrieked in rage.
"Nothing, Sir!" "Nothing my rosy red asshole! Drop and
give me twenty pushups you ignorant fucking
maggot!"
The recruit finished his twenty (done poorly)
pushups and charged back down the aisle, propelled
by a kick in the ass by the officer. "Move,
motherfucker!"
"Jesus Christ!" He whispered as he sat down
and rubbed the sore cheek of his ass. "That guy is
wearing a cross on his collar.
He's a goddamn chaplain!" I've only been in the Navy for a matter of
hours and it already sucks the big one. Sleep is
granted to us around two that morning. I can hear
people crying softly into their pillows. Less than
three hours later we are marched into the chow hall
for our first meal in the military. We had been
woken rudely by two assholes who had charged into
the barracks and had hurled empty fifty gallon
garbage cans across the floor. The place is starting
to take on a sort of prison atmosphere as fellow
recruits in the chow hall whistle at our long hair as
if they plan on cornering us in the showers and
taking our anal cherries from us later on. These sons
of bitches have only been in the Navy slightly
weeks longer than us and already they think that
they are wise beyond their years.
Breakfast, which had consisted of some
runny eggs and some gruel that was billed as
oatmeal, ends for me early when a guy sitting across
from me barfs all over his tray. Our table had
already been warned by a sailor wandering up on
down the aisles to keep our "pie-holes fucking shut"
or we'd find our asses out on the loading dock
"pearl diving."